I am majoring in Marriage and Family studies at BYU-Idaho. One of the classes that is a requirement for this major is Family Stress and Coping. After taking this class you learn how to help families in distress, how they can cope with those different stress in their lives. During this class, we talked about the beautiful story of Christ when he raised Lazarus from the dead. In this passage we talked about the simple scripture “Jesus Wept” John 11: 35. A lot of people think its funny because of how short and simple it is, but it does have some profound truth. I love the concept of mourning with those that mourn, and Christ was the perfect example of that. As Mary and Martha wept for their brother, Christ wept with them. He knew he was going to raise him from the dead, and everything was going to be okay but he still took time to cry and be with them in times of distress.
Sometimes, what may seem not a big deal to some people is a huge deal to others. I went through a trial when I was getting ready to go to middle school. It was a little problem, nothing compared to the big problems that were going on in the world. I was discussing this with my mom one day. She counseled me to pray about my problem to Heavenly Father, I said to her “But, Heavenly Father has a lot to worry about, my problem isn’t a big deal.” She then said to me “If it matters to you, it matters to him.” This is such a profound truth, every single one of us goes through trials, and we can rank them all we want. We can say that losing a child is the worst, but you not passing your test isn’t that bad. Or, One miscarriage isn’t a big deal compared to someone who has lost multiple babies. But we can’t think this way, every problem is real and is hard for the person going through it.
Christ was a great example of this, he had an eternal perspective. He could have easily said “Why are you freaking out? You know you’re going to see Lazarus again.” or “Well, at least you don’t have a bunch of Jews wanting to kill you.” or “Calm down, I’m going to bring him back from the dead anyway.” But he didn’t, he wept.
“32 Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died 33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled 34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!”
It is such a powerful thing, so listen and talk with people. I love this video of Comedian Brain Reagan, he talked about how he saw a family with a little kid holding a balloon. He lets go of his balloon, and starts to have a melt down. His balloon is gone, flying away, he is in tears. and the parents say “why are you crying, we can just get you another one.” In a child’s mind, they wanted that balloon. I think we all have balloons that we let go of, and we want them back. I have many friends who came to school expecting to get married, and they haven’t, and every wedding invitation they get puts that little pit in their stomach that makes them sad. Parents who have a wayward child who doesn’t come to church, and makes too many bad decisions goes to church one Sunday to see a missionary farewell. Someone who is trying to loose weight, but no matter how hard they try, they can’t and then they have a friend that looses weight without trying. Maybe those who can’t conceive children log into Facebook to see about the 4th pregnancy announcement that week. A man who has been divorced 5 years is invited to a 50th wedding anniversary. Someone who struggles with an addiction and has finally come clean slips up again.
As we go to church, school, work, or hangout with friends we know everyone is going through something hard, lets be sensitive and cry with them. I think the world would be a better place if we all said to each other; “your life is hard, and my life is hard. Lets get through this together.” Instead of being bitter. When William was diagnosed, every time i saw a woman with her baby, breast feeding, a friend on Facebook posting about how they love being a mom, I got that pit in my stomach. I had tears in my eyes, and I thought “Why is their baby just fine and mine has a deformity?” “Why do they get to take pictures of their baby, so cute and so beautiful?” “Why does she get to have her baby and I don’t?” But the fact is, we can ask those questions all day, “why is she thin and I’m not?” “Why is their child so righteous but mine struggles?” “Why do they have 5 kids and we struggle to have one?” “Why are all my friends getting married and I can’t?” “Why does this guy do so well in this class and I have to see a tutor?” “Why are my parents getting divorced, but his parents are happily married?” “Why does my child struggle with autism, and their children are just fine?” “Why am I struggling with cancer and she is perfectly healthy?”
Christ suffered the most pain any person could ever go through, he atoned for all of our sins, and felt all the pains and sicknesses of the world. He doesn’t use it to say “well, I know how you feel and that person has it way worse than you.” He uses the atonement to say “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my woke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30. No matter your trial, either big or small, come unto Christ. He will cry with you, like he did with Mary and Martha. He will listen, and talk with you. He understands us perfectly and we can depend on him.