William has a lot of health problems, and a lot of different diagnoses. He is a complex kid. He has visual impairments, hearing impairments, he has a problem with swallowing and must eat through a feeding tube, he has many different doctors, surgeons, and therapists. Bottom line, he is different, he is a curveball. Now, being at Primary Children’s hospital has taught me to enjoy the challenges and the life I am given because I can’t change what has happened. But, this is something that wasn’t easy, and something I still struggle with.
I had a hard time not comparing myself, and I still have a hard time with it. I get jealous, self-centered, and mad at the fact that my situation sucks and someone else has his better than me. For example, I hate going to the doctor and being told more things that are wrong with William. I hate being told more and more limitations that he has. I am jealous of the friends that have healthy babies that go to the doctor and are told that there babies are healthy and strong. I once had a NICU mom explain to me how she hated being other moms out with their babies and she was unable to take her baby out because he was to fragile. It’s a normal thing to be jealous and compare your life to others, but the more people I meet the more I realize that everyone does it, and you may be jealous of one person but that same person is looking at you the same way
I know many people with many different struggles in their lives. Since I have posted and been open about my own struggles, many people have reached out to me. Health problems, unable to conceive children, divorce, death of a child, loneliness, depression, fear, and much much more. But it’s that moment when we look at our situation and we finally say; “I’m okay with what I got.”
We can look at a situation and think about how someone has it better and be bitter or we can decide to make the most of what we got. I can either sit and cry about the fact that my baby has health problems and disabilites or I can pick him up and rea him a book and enjoy the time I have. Let’s stop comparing ourselves, stop talking about how Soninke else has it better or maybe how you’re the one who has it better. Let’s start helping each other. Serving one another, and remembering that one day everything is going to work out in perfect harmony.