This topic has been heavy on my mind lately, and I have been looking online to see if there is anyone that feels the same as me. I looked through blogs, church articles, and other online recourses and I could only find things about promoting stay-at-home moms, and not much on working moms. So, I decided to write my feelings, because I have a feeling I’m not the only mom who feels this way.
I grew up with a stay-at-home mom, my mom was home with me and raised me at home. I loved coming home from school to see her, and she was just an awesome stay-at-home mom. But, when I was 16, my dad left. My mom had to work and go to school and things changed. When that happened, I decided then that I wanted a career, and I wanted to work for myself, and for my family. I married a man who was supportive of my desire to work, and understood that I wanted to work.
I went to college thinking that was going to be my life, I didn’t want kids right away, I wanted to graduate and get a career and then start a family. William came as a surprise. I was worried and scared about what we were going to do while we graduated and had a baby. I had a fear that I would be like every mormon girl, and get stuck at home with her kid.
When Will was born with special needs, my fears grew even stronger. Now, I not only had a baby, but a baby with special needs that needs more care than a normal baby. That will probably have disabilities into adulthood and I will be taking care of him until the end of my life. I don’t think the fear settled until a year after Will was born. I was a stay-at-home mom for a year and I was going crazy. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work, and I am not good at it. I developed a love for nursing, and decided to go to nursing school.
I want to be clear before people start saying I don’t love my child and I’m going against the LDS church teachings. I love my son, I do. I love being home with him and taking care of him. But I can’t do that every day all day for the rest of my life. Some moms can, and some moms love it. I am not one of those moms and I hope those reading can choose to not judge and understand that every woman has different dreams and goals for themselves and their children, each woman has different skills and weaknesses and we should all support and love one another instead of judge.
When I started my application to nursing school, I was so happy. I played more with my son, I was happier around him, I was happier with my husband, and I felt better about myself. That is the point. The point is that you create an environment where your children, and husband feel loved. When I started studying for my nursing entrance exam, I was happier, and Will developed so well in his therapies because I worked with him more than when I didn’t have anything to work for and just felt depressed.
I want to write to those moms who feel alone, and sad being home all day. Do something for yourself. Work out, get a hobby, an online job, take some classes, do something for yourself. It is okay to be a little selfish. Because when you take a break, you can be a better mother and wife. And if you love being a stay-at-home mom and you feel happy, then I commend you on finding something you love that brings you happiness.
Just because a mother chooses to work, does not mean she is a bad mom. It does not mean she doesn’t love her children, and it does not mean she doesn’t like being a mom. Just because you choose to be a stay at home mom does not mean you gave up your dreams. Basically I want to say; find something you love. Do it. Work hard for it, whatever it may be. But particularly I want to say this to moms who don’t like being at home, because I feel people don’t acknowledge those moms as much.